Reunited and it feels so.....Fuck I did it again!
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Here it is 2 years plus later, I have this beautiful growing little baby boy and we are so happy. I just got out of a relationship with a really nice guy, but no sparks. Well one night around valentines day 2005 I decided to indulge myself in a rather large bottle of wine next thing you know I'm watching love stories and calling my.......Ex! I know what your thinking, but not that one. My high school sweetheart, my first love the boy I wanted to marry. We ended up talking for 4 hours and falling asleep on the phone. It felt so nice to talk to him again, he was so sweet to me when we dated and I never really got over him. So we made plans to hang out and before long the old feelings had surfaced and we were back together. He fell head over heals in love with mase, who wouldn't! And it felt so great, I found a man who loved me, my son, and the best part I already knew him. His family, his friends, his past..... and his performance. It felt like a fairy tale, until we started catching up on the last 3 years of our lives. Mine was pretty simple partied, college, and of course had a baby and grew up really fast into a responsible adult! Wonder what he's been up to? Lost his full soccer scholarship at a good college, dropped out of school, drinking, drugs you know the usual. Hold up...what? Did you say drugs? I might have a kid and some worldly knowledge, but I don't mess with drugs. Never have, never will. He claimed to be clean for almost a year, and without question I believed him.
3 short months later after margaritas at El Sombrero or "The Hat" I popped the question. Yes, I did ask him to marry me! I was in love and excited and a little tipsy, but it was wonderful. It was one of those moments that you see on a movie. He said yes and we were engaged. My folks were thrilled let me tell you... not at all. So what comes next, already have the baby, found the guy, oh yes a ring..... Did I say ring I meant tattoos and matching ones. Little ankhs on our finger (despite what you are thinking I actually love this tattoo to this day) how sweet right!
So as perfect as this all seems, there has to be a catch. Nope if he had any flaws I look past them and loved him for who he was. We decided to have a baby so our children would be close together in age, and 8 months later we were pregnant. We were ecstatic and so was mase, it all seemed to fall into place.
Well if you were looking for a catch you found one. 2 short weeks after finding out we were expecting he started changing. Ahh isn't that nice, hope your not having doubts, because well I'M ALREADY F***ING PREGNANT!!!!! Next thing you know he's partying leaving me at home with mase alone and crying, never went to any doctor appointments, and wanted really nothing to do with me.
I'm a fool I let my heart get the best of me, this has already happened once. There is no way it's happening again! Well it did. I left him twice during my pregnancy. The first time took him back straight away, and the second we split during the last trimester and first 6 weeks of our daughters birth. He didn't even try to win me back, he had other priorities, his friends, going out. You know the important things in life. So it wasn't until my threat to move in with my sister 2 hours away, he started to protest. Next thing you know we are back living together and putting an a facade of a happy healthy family. As much as i wished that were the case, it wasn't.
To this day I still do not know why he did the things he did to me. Whether he got scared or just realized he was to young and selfish, i will never know. When our daughter was 9 months old I finally left, but for good this time. You can only cry so many tears for one individual, he had changed for good and was never turning back. The kids and I moved in with my sister a few weeks later and here I am today. It has been 9 months since I left a huge part of my life behind in hope to find happiness. I'm young but have been through so much in my 25 years of existence. My children are my rock and foundation, our journey hasn't been easy but filled with love.
peace
freespirited mama
3 short months later after margaritas at El Sombrero or "The Hat" I popped the question. Yes, I did ask him to marry me! I was in love and excited and a little tipsy, but it was wonderful. It was one of those moments that you see on a movie. He said yes and we were engaged. My folks were thrilled let me tell you... not at all. So what comes next, already have the baby, found the guy, oh yes a ring..... Did I say ring I meant tattoos and matching ones. Little ankhs on our finger (despite what you are thinking I actually love this tattoo to this day) how sweet right!
So as perfect as this all seems, there has to be a catch. Nope if he had any flaws I look past them and loved him for who he was. We decided to have a baby so our children would be close together in age, and 8 months later we were pregnant. We were ecstatic and so was mase, it all seemed to fall into place.
Well if you were looking for a catch you found one. 2 short weeks after finding out we were expecting he started changing. Ahh isn't that nice, hope your not having doubts, because well I'M ALREADY F***ING PREGNANT!!!!! Next thing you know he's partying leaving me at home with mase alone and crying, never went to any doctor appointments, and wanted really nothing to do with me.
I'm a fool I let my heart get the best of me, this has already happened once. There is no way it's happening again! Well it did. I left him twice during my pregnancy. The first time took him back straight away, and the second we split during the last trimester and first 6 weeks of our daughters birth. He didn't even try to win me back, he had other priorities, his friends, going out. You know the important things in life. So it wasn't until my threat to move in with my sister 2 hours away, he started to protest. Next thing you know we are back living together and putting an a facade of a happy healthy family. As much as i wished that were the case, it wasn't.
To this day I still do not know why he did the things he did to me. Whether he got scared or just realized he was to young and selfish, i will never know. When our daughter was 9 months old I finally left, but for good this time. You can only cry so many tears for one individual, he had changed for good and was never turning back. The kids and I moved in with my sister a few weeks later and here I am today. It has been 9 months since I left a huge part of my life behind in hope to find happiness. I'm young but have been through so much in my 25 years of existence. My children are my rock and foundation, our journey hasn't been easy but filled with love.
peace
freespirited mama
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