Can't Love if you Hate!
10:04 AM Edit This 1 Comment »
A wise friend once told me.....
"You cannot fully love your child/children if you hate their father."
My first response to that was bullshit! I love my children dearly and can't stand their fathers, hate is pushing it. But the more I think about it, she was so right. To fully love another person you have to love everything about them. This includes their parents. When I started forgiving my ex's for their past indiscretion's I started becoming a happier person. In return I was enjoying time spent with my kids more, I wasn't looking at my situation anymore as sad. The less time I spent cursing off men and feeling sorry for myself was now more time to enjoy life. The less pissed off I am the less likely I get irritated quicker. If I'm constantly complaining or setting off a bad vibe my kids are going to sense it and in return suffer for it.
For example: I'm gabbing on my cell to my girlfriend bitching about another late child support check. I'm going to get myself all riled up and most likely my friend will add fuel to the fire. "Oh no he didn't, what a loser"!!! What happens here is my daughter will now spill something and instead of saying "uh oh" like a good mommy, i then roll my eyes make a huge gasp and clean it up. If I was in a good mood it would have not been a big deal at all, kids spill stuff no whoopy!!! Or my son will say "mom mom mom mom mom mom" until I snap! Well if I wasn't chatting it up I could have givin him his needed attention. Not saying it's cool for kids to interrupt when adults are on the phone, at all. However my attitude towards him will be somewhat shifted from hold on one second baby to WHAT... I'M ON THE PHONE! We are all guilty of it.
So the point I am trying to make here is LET IT GO. You don't have to love them but for heaven sakes forgive, let it go, and move on with life. They will never change we all know this. Your kids will be sooooooo much happier and so will you!!!!!!!! We never intend on taking out our hard feelings on our kids because they are our foundation our love, but sometimes when we are upset it just happens. I have found the less upset I am at their dads the more loving and happier mom I become.
I know what your thinking put on a happy face and swear at them in your head, but this won't work either. I am not happy with many decisions ex # 1 and ex# 2 have made in the past and definitely don't agree on how i was treated, but i still love them with all my heart. Because if they didn't exist neither would my children!
Peace
Freespirited mama
"You cannot fully love your child/children if you hate their father."
My first response to that was bullshit! I love my children dearly and can't stand their fathers, hate is pushing it. But the more I think about it, she was so right. To fully love another person you have to love everything about them. This includes their parents. When I started forgiving my ex's for their past indiscretion's I started becoming a happier person. In return I was enjoying time spent with my kids more, I wasn't looking at my situation anymore as sad. The less time I spent cursing off men and feeling sorry for myself was now more time to enjoy life. The less pissed off I am the less likely I get irritated quicker. If I'm constantly complaining or setting off a bad vibe my kids are going to sense it and in return suffer for it.
For example: I'm gabbing on my cell to my girlfriend bitching about another late child support check. I'm going to get myself all riled up and most likely my friend will add fuel to the fire. "Oh no he didn't, what a loser"!!! What happens here is my daughter will now spill something and instead of saying "uh oh" like a good mommy, i then roll my eyes make a huge gasp and clean it up. If I was in a good mood it would have not been a big deal at all, kids spill stuff no whoopy!!! Or my son will say "mom mom mom mom mom mom" until I snap! Well if I wasn't chatting it up I could have givin him his needed attention. Not saying it's cool for kids to interrupt when adults are on the phone, at all. However my attitude towards him will be somewhat shifted from hold on one second baby to WHAT... I'M ON THE PHONE! We are all guilty of it.
So the point I am trying to make here is LET IT GO. You don't have to love them but for heaven sakes forgive, let it go, and move on with life. They will never change we all know this. Your kids will be sooooooo much happier and so will you!!!!!!!! We never intend on taking out our hard feelings on our kids because they are our foundation our love, but sometimes when we are upset it just happens. I have found the less upset I am at their dads the more loving and happier mom I become.
I know what your thinking put on a happy face and swear at them in your head, but this won't work either. I am not happy with many decisions ex # 1 and ex# 2 have made in the past and definitely don't agree on how i was treated, but i still love them with all my heart. Because if they didn't exist neither would my children!
Peace
Freespirited mama
1 comments:
"indescretions"
"riled up"
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